It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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