I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
