The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
