Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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