If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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