I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
