Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
