Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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