Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
