there's paper in my vomit.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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