He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
