Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
