Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
