She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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