She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize