watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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