Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
