were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
