It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
