He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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