how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
