Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
