this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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