Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
