During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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