I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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