One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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