Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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