Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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