i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize