Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize