white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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