I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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