I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
