I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
