I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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