I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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