If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
