we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
