Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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