Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
