we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
