3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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