somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
