Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
