Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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