I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
nutella sex= disaster
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
