and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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