NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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