what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize