I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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