I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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