No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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