If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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