how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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