I don't usually arrange sex via text message
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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