I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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