Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
