my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
this boner is exhausting
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
