yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
