Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
