Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
