i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize