So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm too high and old for this...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
