so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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