Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize