I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
