big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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