so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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