its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
