He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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