Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
