ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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