if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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