My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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