I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
