No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
