I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
