her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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